Born in China

Intercountry Adoption Through My Eyes and Beyond

New job!

September11

Life is all good at the moment!  I started a new job back in Secondary, returning to my much loved subject ‘Drama’.  This school is completely different from my last contract- great kids – really responsive and at the moment a pleasure to teach!  The staff are lovely too and have made me feel really welcome.  The only down side is that it is temporary and so I mustn’t get too cosy as I am taking the place of a teacher who is currently on maternity.  I’m still working within the family business but have cut my hours down to a day a week as I’m three days in school.  The balance is perfect and the variety is brilliant, having a foot within industry as well as the routine and structure of the school environment, which I have to say, I have missed this last year!

All is going full steam ahead with the domestic adoption too.  We completed the Parenting courses this August with PACT and although there was obvious repetition from the Intercountry courses, it was good to revisit the key areas of attachment and loss.  There were 31 prospective adopters on the course and we have set up our own support group which although we haven’t tapped into yet, am sure will be helpful in the coming months!

Our Social worker completed our mid term review and so we are so happy that we have got our Saturday mornings back.  Juggling school work and adoption work was quite intense!  The next stage in our process will happen around November time when we will receive profiles of waiting children.  Although I am so excited about the reality of it all, I am anxious at the same time.  After waiting all these years, I need to make sure that I don’t get carried away and jump in too quick.  There is so much to consider this time especially regarding physical health and mental issues within the backgrounds of these children.  I’m hoping and praying that the right child will jump out and be so obvious to us that there will be absolutely no doubt about them being right for our family!

Blog Name Changed?

July21

Since changing the direction of my blog…to the journey of adoption within the UK, I have deliberated over changing my blog’s name?  Within the next couple of days I’m going to amend the heading by adding the words ‘ and beyond’.

Unfortunately there are still folk out there in the UK as well as worldwide that have preconceived ideas about Intercountry Adoption and I feel it’s important for them to know the real story and process, so I have decided to retain the name in the hope that if they stumble upon my site whilst researching the topic their eyes will be fully opened!

New Direction!

July21

I didn’t ever think that I would post this subject back in 2007, when my hopes were high for my future of being a parent to a Chinese daughter but after years of internal torment we have decided that enough is enough and we are pulling out of the program.

Over the last 5 months since I last posted we have been coming to terms with our decision, which has been like a bereavement.  This choice really was made for us by the Chinese Government who have in effect made it impossible for people in our situation to remain true to our original purpose of adopting a healthy baby from China.  Referrals have just moved forward to November 6th 2006.  It has taken 67 days for the box to move from the 26th October.  By the current waiting times we would be nearly fifty before our May 27th 2007 time slot came up.  We have been faithful all these years and held strong but this wait is not reasonable in anyone’s eyes and we are wasting our own lives treading water for a baby that may or may not materialise.  The trust in China has gone and the realisation that they no longer want to release their abandoned babies is blatantly obvious for the outside world to see, even though they deny the program will close.  It is running only in name.  The politics of this situation are far too big for us to change anything and so it has been with deep sadness that we have decided to take an alternative route, that of Domestic Adoption.

Over the last 6 years things have dramatically changed within the UK regarding Domestic Adoption.  Firstly, the time period of children being removed from their natural parents has increased and they are being removed from their terrible situations much quicker and being put into the Foster care system much sooner.  The idea of continual contact through letter/card writing with their biological parents has been reviewed and is not necessarily compulsory these days.  The chances of us being able to adopt a child between 1-2 is highly likely now and so our new direction is to be within our own country of England.  There are currently 6000 children awaiting forever homes and somewhere right now hidden within those statistics is our one, waiting unknowingly for us to be their parents!

All of our close friends and family are delighted that we have decided to jump ship and change course and can’t believe that we have taken so long to come to this decision.  On reflection, I can’t believe we waited so long either but giving up has never been my forte!  Both me and my husband are ‘go getters’ in whatever we tackle and have a sense of loyalty that is deeply engrained into us, so the idea of giving up on something we worked so hard for, didn’t really register for us.  Sometimes, though you can be blinded by the obvious and I am so glad now that we have finally woken up to the reality!  I imagine this is what it feels like to be released from prison, the sense of freedom is overwhelming!

Our charity ‘PACT’ (Parents and Children Together) have been amazing and although we are having to go through what is called a ‘conversion course’ they are doing everything to fast track our case.  We already have a new Panel date of the 4th December 2013 and our Parenting courses are over four days in August.  This coming Monday is our first meeting to redo our paper work with our original Social Worker, who has stuck by us over the last 6 years!  So it really is full steam ahead!

Welcome to 2013! The year of the SNAKE…

January15

So far so good.  The start of January has been extremely positive- I have begun working within the family business.  My father invented a large computerised interactive game that goes under the name of BATAK and after years of being asked to come onboard, I have finally  agreed.  It is early days but I have to say that I am surprisingly enjoying the challenge.  Many of my teaching skills, I am finding are transferrable.  For example, I have been devising a working instruction manual for the factory workers and have found it relatively easy as I approached it in the same way that I would do for a GCSE/A Level revision pack.  Liaising with the various suppliers has just been the same as Parents Consultation Evening so there are many over laps!

I received my CELTA qualification from Cambridge University yesterday and as you probably have already predicted proceeded to file it in a darkened cupboard- chalking it up to ‘an experience’!  I am looking forward to catching up with all my college chums sometime in March to hear of their progress in the field of EFL but until then I won’t be opening any GRAMMAR books up for fun!

The plan for this year is to learn as much about BATAK as possible and hopefully generate more work for the family and help to stream line the business.  To continue doing free lance Performing Arts work and to train to be a Yoga teacher at the end of the year in India, once I have saved enough money up to do the intensive course.

On the adoption front we have decided that if referrals don’t reach 2007  by the end of this year then we will have no choice but to pull out of the wait.  Christmas was really tough this year for us.  As each year  goes on and as our own ages are increasing it makes us realise that although we have the patience to wait, if it goes on too much longer then we will be too old to enjoy a youngster and that they won’t thank us for making them be the kid with the oldest parents in the playground!  Now that we have set our own deadline, we both feel much happier as one way or another we will be able to move on.

I really do want to thank all those out there that follow our progress and for all the lovely emails  that we have received that keep us hanging on in there!  Big thank yous xx

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Countdown

January15

Referrals have moved by three days to the 13th October 2006.

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Black History Month competition

December7

Really happy to share my news that I got 3rd place in the Black History Month Competition!  Here’s my poster:-

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The box has changed!

December7

Referrals have moved on by two days to 10th October 2006.  A tiny batch but still moving forward…

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What next?

November13

Sometimes, I like to look back at my old posts to see whether I have made progress within my thought process and to boost my confidence levels.  Today was one of those days.  I remember when I decided to do the CELTA course.  It was a time of new direction and possible hope.  The course is now nearly completed with just one month remaining.  I have worked so hard since September to try and get to grips with both the learning of the grammar and teaching of it.  I have to admit that although, I would love to say I’ve found my new career but it isn’t really for me.  Everyone else on the course is really excited about completing the course so that they can start applying for jobs, some looking forward to  going abroad with the qualification.  I feel abit like a fraud as the main reason I have been studying for it was because I was terrified of having a gap on my C.V!

The job market within Performing Arts in schools is absolutely flat- nothing has come up for me to go for at all!  My Dad has kindly offered me some work within the family business in January if nothing has come up by the start of the New Year,  so I am very grateful for that.  I need to stay focused and positive.  I am beginning to go back to my default position of anxiety as this chapter is coming to an end.  The pattern of feeling this way is familiar to me.  I remember when I was in the final month of both of the short term contracts that I felt this way.  I am ultimately a person who needs stability and when that anchor is being pulled it sets off a chain reaction within me.  I always turn to my creative side when I need comfort and had the perfect opportunity to use my artistic skills as a competition run by the college in celebration of Black History Month has come up.  I’m working on a collage effect/graphic style poster – so fingers crossed!

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November is here…

November2

I can hardly believe that the 2012 is coming to a close.  It hasn’t been the best one for me by a long stretch but this Autumn has helped me to reflect more positively than I usually am at the this time of year.  I suffer from the SAD condition, not formally but I know that the lack of light does affect me considerably!  However, I haven’t noticed it so much this fall as I’ve been so preoccupied with the CELTA course.  It’s amazing to think that I am already over half way through it.  The whole experience has been wonderful so far.  Learning new skills and meeting new people has been just what I needed to raise my spirits and confidence.  The actual work has been quite demanding and I have not found it easy.  I don’t think it is going to ultimately be for me as a career change but I do believe it will help me get back into teaching as it has definately given me another dimension to the way information is put over to the learner.  On the job front nothing concrete has come up within the Performing Arts field for me to apply for yet but I am putting it out there for manifestation!

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Wow!

November2

Some good news on referrals for a change!  A bumper month – we have finally got through September and the box has moved to 8th October 2006.  There is true elation in the internet waiting room for adoptions from China!  I’m putting positive vibes out there, for the rest of 2006 to pass quickly as I believe through stats provided by RQ that there are not so many people logged in, as within previous months…

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