Born in China

Intercountry Adoption Through My Eyes and Beyond

New Direction!


I didn’t ever think that I would post this subject back in 2007, when my hopes were high for my future of being a parent to a Chinese daughter but after years of internal torment we have decided that enough is enough and we are pulling out of the program.

Over the last 5 months since I last posted we have been coming to terms with our decision, which has been like a bereavement.  This choice really was made for us by the Chinese Government who have in effect made it impossible for people in our situation to remain true to our original purpose of adopting a healthy baby from China.  Referrals have just moved forward to November 6th 2006.  It has taken 67 days for the box to move from the 26th October.  By the current waiting times we would be nearly fifty before our May 27th 2007 time slot came up.  We have been faithful all these years and held strong but this wait is not reasonable in anyone’s eyes and we are wasting our own lives treading water for a baby that may or may not materialise.  The trust in China has gone and the realisation that they no longer want to release their abandoned babies is blatantly obvious for the outside world to see, even though they deny the program will close.  It is running only in name.  The politics of this situation are far too big for us to change anything and so it has been with deep sadness that we have decided to take an alternative route, that of Domestic Adoption.

Over the last 6 years things have dramatically changed within the UK regarding Domestic Adoption.  Firstly, the time period of children being removed from their natural parents has increased and they are being removed from their terrible situations much quicker and being put into the Foster care system much sooner.  The idea of continual contact through letter/card writing with their biological parents has been reviewed and is not necessarily compulsory these days.  The chances of us being able to adopt a child between 1-2 is highly likely now and so our new direction is to be within our own country of England.  There are currently 6000 children awaiting forever homes and somewhere right now hidden within those statistics is our one, waiting unknowingly for us to be their parents!

All of our close friends and family are delighted that we have decided to jump ship and change course and can’t believe that we have taken so long to come to this decision.  On reflection, I can’t believe we waited so long either but giving up has never been my forte!  Both me and my husband are ‘go getters’ in whatever we tackle and have a sense of loyalty that is deeply engrained into us, so the idea of giving up on something we worked so hard for, didn’t really register for us.  Sometimes, though you can be blinded by the obvious and I am so glad now that we have finally woken up to the reality!  I imagine this is what it feels like to be released from prison, the sense of freedom is overwhelming!

Our charity ‘PACT’ (Parents and Children Together) have been amazing and although we are having to go through what is called a ‘conversion course’ they are doing everything to fast track our case.  We already have a new Panel date of the 4th December 2013 and our Parenting courses are over four days in August.  This coming Monday is our first meeting to redo our paper work with our original Social Worker, who has stuck by us over the last 6 years!  So it really is full steam ahead!

posted under New Direction 2013

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