Born in China

Intercountry Adoption Through My Eyes and Beyond

What next?

November13

Sometimes, I like to look back at my old posts to see whether I have made progress within my thought process and to boost my confidence levels.  Today was one of those days.  I remember when I decided to do the CELTA course.  It was a time of new direction and possible hope.  The course is now nearly completed with just one month remaining.  I have worked so hard since September to try and get to grips with both the learning of the grammar and teaching of it.  I have to admit that although, I would love to say I’ve found my new career but it isn’t really for me.  Everyone else on the course is really excited about completing the course so that they can start applying for jobs, some looking forward to  going abroad with the qualification.  I feel abit like a fraud as the main reason I have been studying for it was because I was terrified of having a gap on my C.V!

The job market within Performing Arts in schools is absolutely flat- nothing has come up for me to go for at all!  My Dad has kindly offered me some work within the family business in January if nothing has come up by the start of the New Year,  so I am very grateful for that.  I need to stay focused and positive.  I am beginning to go back to my default position of anxiety as this chapter is coming to an end.  The pattern of feeling this way is familiar to me.  I remember when I was in the final month of both of the short term contracts that I felt this way.  I am ultimately a person who needs stability and when that anchor is being pulled it sets off a chain reaction within me.  I always turn to my creative side when I need comfort and had the perfect opportunity to use my artistic skills as a competition run by the college in celebration of Black History Month has come up.  I’m working on a collage effect/graphic style poster – so fingers crossed!

posted under The Wait

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